she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize