Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
