i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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