1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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