just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
