What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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