similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my poor anus
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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