I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
