everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
