Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
