I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
