i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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