It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
