You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
