Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
high people should be assigned attendants
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
