She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
