Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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