i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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