i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize