my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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