HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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