How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
