And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
