dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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