I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
