Are we in a gay sports bar?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
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