My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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