I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
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Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
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Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.