This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.