My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize