My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
