The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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