i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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