I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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