Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
