is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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