I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
