I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
