when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He better not be in your backpack
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize