Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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