I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
