your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize