sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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