You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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