He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
