I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
