I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
