Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
