i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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