All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
