Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize