The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
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I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize