Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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