I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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