she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
