I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i now understand why vodka
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
