It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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