the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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