well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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