You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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