I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
