It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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