my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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