Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize