Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
