Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
