Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
