i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
