Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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